God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
We have so much sex to catch up on
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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