he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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