dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Randomize
