I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
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