Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize