I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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