Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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