If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
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