I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize