I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
