his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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