Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Randomize
