4 words: hood of his car
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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