rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Randomize
