That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
