u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
and she was petting her beer can
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
