im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
