the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
