You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
