I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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