just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
