You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
