The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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