Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
operation harelip BJ is a go
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
