: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
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