i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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