I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
