Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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