they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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