i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
