i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Randomize
