Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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