I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize
