If i come over, it means nothing
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
