does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
