Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
