The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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