Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize