I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
