omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
