so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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