why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
pop tarts are not kleenex
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Shame is for Republicans.
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