Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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