I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
