Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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