i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
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