i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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