i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Randomize
