Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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