Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
