I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
