I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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