NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
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Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
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In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize