dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
