who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
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