they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
