Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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