the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
