so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
two words: eviction party
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
