I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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