she looked like the bat from fern gully.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Randomize
