If that was your dad, he is hot
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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