We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
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