Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
