You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Randomize
