what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
