the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
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