You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
