Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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